The Christmas Breakdown

Okay, I have to admit it: Every year I have a slight breakdown/meltdown at Christmas time. In fact, I think I probably write a similar post each year. My annual Christmas bitch post if you will. I want to be joyful and happy and crafty and thankful. I know I should be joyful and happy and thankful and that just adds to the stress for me. You see, every year I make personalized ornaments -- you've seen them, right? I would share a picture but you remember my computer crashing... anyway, don't have any photos to share right now.

So, this year I decided NOT to make the ornaments after 14 Christmas Seasons of painting them. I was weighing my options one day at work a week or so into November (which is way later than I ever start painting) My boss and coworker asked me how many I normally sold and when I told them they pretty much said I would be foolish to turn down the extra money.

I decided that maybe I WAS just being lazy and maybe I should just do them. I decided that I would finish up painting the blank ones left from last year and just call it a day. When I ran out, I ran out. I counted and I had 64 blank ornaments. A nice, do-able, stress- free number.

I started getting orders and started painting them up pretty quickly. A couple of days later I was up in my attic looking for something when I found an unopened carton of blank ornaments so that gave me over a hundred more blanks. I kept taking orders.

A couple of weeks in, I was still painting but not "feeling it." I hated the ornaments and I hated the thought of painting them. Nice Christmas spirit, huh? So, I decided to set a cut-off day. December 6th, I was going to call it quits no matter how many blank ornaments were left.

Yesterday was the last day and I was literally down to only 6 blank ornaments anyway. I had several small orders and one order for 19 to be shipped to Illinois. I woke up early and started painting. I painted and painted all day. I would not have even left my house if I didn't have to go pay my storage unit rent.

I got dressed, went to the bank and went to the storage unit. The guy wasn't there so I gave him a call. He said to come back tomorrow or Saturday. So, I sat in the parking lot of the storage place with tears brimming in my eyes. (Not sure why him telling me to come back is what pushed me over the ledge) I realized I was stressed. Really stressed. In the last few weeks I have been to the flea market twice (hauling stuff there and hauling it home) I set up my booth at the antique mall, had Thanksgiving -twice, commuted back and forth to work every other day, stood in lines at the post office for several hours, eaten way too much fast food, driven to estate sales, hauled big things in the rain...

I sat there and talked myself out of crying. I know it is stupid to get stressed about something I asked for. I love having the extra Christmas money. I appreciate my customers. I could have way worse problems. I HAVE had way worse problems.

But, I honestly think my Christmas ornament painting is over. I want to enjoy Christmas for the first time in my married life. I don't want to be frazzled and bitchy and stressed and look like an unkempt wooly mammoth. I am retiring from the ornament business. Five more to paint tomorrow and about 31 boxes to pack and ship and I am done. It has been a great run.

As I painted on Tuesday, I put them over into the laundry basket so they would not roll off my bed. This is what the basket looked like when I was done: